I laugh, and it’s laughter, not light, that casts out the darkness building within me, that reminds me I am still alive, even in this strange place where everything I’ve ever known is coming apart. I know some things—I know that I’m not alone, that I have friends, that I’m in love. I know where I came from. I know that I don’t want to die, and for me, that’s something—more than I could have said a few weeks ago.
—Tris Prior (Roth, Veronica. Alligiant. New York : Katherine Tegen Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers,  ©2013. Chapter 15.)
When I left college, I’m pretty sure my parents thought that my ministry life would die down. To be honest, I thought the same. And then, when I was so desperate and so hungry for spiritual food, God decided to put SPYAM on my plate. What a wonderful cross it has become.
Of course, with carrying every cross comes experiences of anxiety (before), suffrage (during) and glory (after). There have been weeks on end without breaks, meetings day after day, and very tiresome mornings at work. It’s been an insane journey, but memorable nonetheless. The countless meetings and ideas are all nothing compared to the life that Christ gave for me and for all of us. I wouldn’t have had the past year in any other way.
I’m tired. I’m always tired. But that’s just my body speaking.
My heart will remain restless until it rests with You, Lord. Thank you for blessing me with Yourself through this ministry. May all that we do continue to draw us closer to Your most perfect love and may that love set the world on fire.
And you are loved!
Also… The struggle is TOO real.
I have a new child!
I am pleased to introduce to you the MacBook Pro, John Francis! The name stems from Blessed Pope John Paul II and Pope Francis. (It’s not that I don’t like Pope Benedict XVI—I just never had a strong connection with him during his papacy). John Francis is also the name of the Catholic Chaplain at UCI. All three of these inspirational men of Mary have shared the Gospel through their homilies and action which is exactly what I want to do with the laptop. John Francis (the laptop) was purchased with the main intention of sharing the light of our faith.
The desktop picture of Jesus that I’m using was snapped while in adoration at the 2014 Religious Education Congress, “Hope: A World Afire!” My default desktop backgrounds at work were always Disney related because what better way to experience pieces of joy than being a child, right? I was looking for pictures of the World of Color on my phone and came across this one. Not only is it a world of color, it is an image of the source of Light and color Himself! How fitting, right?!
A big shout out to the boyfriend, Sid, who was an integral part of my recent investment. =) *gag* Jk.
Anyway… In case you don’t already know the names of my other named objects:
- AJ (Adam was my first iPhone and this is my second: Adam Junior. Because Apple… Adam’s apple… get it?!)
-Ashton (the Kia Forte gifted to me from my parents. His name is based on part of Genisis 3:10 that is often read on Ash Wednesday, “For you are dust and to dust you shall return.” Ashton is a constant reminder that, as soon as I pay him off, I need to regift him back to my parents as a sign of appreciation.)
-Dayvid (My Nikon D5100. The DSLR is also capable of capturing high quality videos. I never got him blessed, but the name stems from the concept of being able to capture the joy of the light—hence “day”.)
Surprisingly, I haven’t named my instruments… Maybe if I ever buy new ones, I will. But they’re important to me, too! Maybe I should name them something more feminine since all the other expensive stuff I have are male… Hahah.
For the past year, (with the exceptions of two months), I’ve celebrated Mass and Adoration. Every time I drive home from fellowship—usually past midnight—I tell myself how wonderful it would be to wake up to run to God and finish off with 7:30am Morning Mass on Saturday. And, with utmost failure, I never get up.
Last night/this morning, before going to bed, I prayed that God would get me up on time. This morning, I abruptly woke up at 6:28. I didn’t stir, I didn’t flinch, I wasn’t scared from a dream; I just suddenly opened my eyes. I wish I could say that I got up and ran the 3 miles to Saint Philomena but the tiredness and laziness got to me. If there’s one lesson to get from this, it is the fact that God loves me so much as not to force me to do things for Him. He’ll wake me gently to grant my request, but He’ll let me make decisions on my own. How great is He to give us free will!
Upon waking up, I saw all sorts of post about the Ragnar Race (Huntington Beach to San Diego with your team)! A big congratulations to all of you who are out there!! Once again, I am reminded of how wonderful God is to let us be mobile. What if He created us to be just big, immobile blobs? Will we truly be able to see the beauty that He’s made this world to be?
In other news, I didn’t register for the OC half because of all the pain I’m experiencing with my legs and wrists—all of which I am assuming are from my poor ergonomic set-up at my workstation at CSMC. I’m a bit sad because I’ve been humbled to eat my words once again as I save the goal of completing a half marathon for yet another time… BUT! Now I know how my body works. I now have enough experience at work to know how things need to be set up for my body. Hopefully taking precautionary preventative steps from tendonitis and carpal tunnel syndrome will help me develop a more active, no-excuse, lifestyle outside of work.
Looking forward to running with and to You soon, Lord!
—Beat It (Demo)
As Jackson couldn’t fluently play any instruments, he would sing and beatbox out how he wanted his songs to sound by himself on tape, layering the vocals, harmonies and rhythm before having instrumentalists come in to complete the songs.
One of his engineers Robmix on how Jackson worked: “One morning MJ came in with a new song he had written overnight. We called in a guitar player, and Michael sang every note of every chord to him. “here’s the first chord first note, second note, third note. Here’s the second chord first note, second note, third note”, etc., etc. We then witnessed him giving the most heartfelt and profound vocal performance, live in the control room through an SM57. He would sing us an entire string arrangement, every part. Steve Porcaro once told me he witnessed MJ doing that with the string section in the room. Had it all in his head, harmony and everything. Not just little eight bar loop ideas. he would actually sing the entire arrangement into a micro-cassette recorder complete with stops and fills.”
Damn… So good